Friday, January 19, 2007 16:15 Y
Hey. Didn't go to sch today AGAIN. It's fun but I miss my frens so bloody damn much! I miss
DADA & Wan. I miss my gf's. Oh, and ms maz called in the morning.
I don't what's up with me today coz I've broken down to tears reading back his messages in the wee hours of the day. I know I've vowed not to cry but I lost out still. I couln't hold back my tears. What's more, I watching Heart. That brought back way too much memories for me. The songs, the movie & everything that's got to do with that. I remembered he told me how the movie went and stuff like that. The time he sang the song for me. I was so touched at that point of time. The time when we sang "My Heart" and I became his duet partner. It brought back memories on how we used to talk on the phone at night. How he promised that he would be by my side should anything happen to me. The time when I told him about my infected leg & that there was a high possibility that I had to go to the hospital. He was so worried till he said that he would not bugde from the hospital should it really happen. How he showed the love, care & concern for me. The time he said that I was shortlisted on this list. The
TRUST that we've given one another. The time when he used to say that I was his one and only tweety. The time when he said that he wasn't ready for any relationships. I gave him his the freedom & time he needed for himself. I remembered every single thing that happened between us. The promises & deals that we made to each other. The secrets & stories that we shared. Be it the good or the bad. The arguments & misunderstandings we had. We tackled every problem maturely. We forgave & forget. Still remembered the jokes & laughters we shared. The time when he always teased me about this I/C thingy. I'll still show it to you when I've gotten my I/C. How can I possibly forget all that in just one night? As for him, he changed just overnight. I don't know what made him change drastically just over one night. I really hope that everything would be back to normal one day. The way I feel towards him is just too difficult to be put to words. I've
NVR EVER had this kind of feeling before in my whole entire life. I thought that this thing wouldn't affect me at all. But I was wrong. I've been deceiving myself all along. I knew that this would happen sooner or later & indeed I was prepared. But still, something's just bothering me. I can't erase the memories we shared. They're just too sweet for me. I just love the times we spent together even though it was just for 7 mths. I know u don't remember it. But it's fine by me. As a girl, I do feel disappointed in u. But I still love u. I've tried my best to forget u in the past,which I nearly did when u came back into my life without warning. I don't blame u for that coz I believed that it was Fate that brought us back together. And now I guess that Fate is breaking us up again. For what reason, that I don't know. The only thing that I'm absolutely sure is that I really love u & I'll wait for u for as long as I can wait. I've got to be strong & mature enough to handle this problem. Maybe it's a test. No one knows. But I'll not be putting on high hopes. Coz it will only break my heart further. The wound that was inflicted on me for the first time hasn't healed fully & u've inflicted another scar in my heart. I can't have my heart to be hurt for the third time can I? Wishing u all the best with whoever u are now. Though u said otherwise. I'll be here when u need me. I'll be holding on but at the same time I'm moving on.