Wednesday, April 25, 2007 21:09 Y
First and foremost, I've got nothing against anyone. Whatever I'm going to post today is merely what I feel. At the end of the day, this will still be my blog. So be prepared coz I'll be letting off the steam in me. Honestly, rolling thunder potato inspired me to to this. Ok. Here it goes.
I won't elaborate anything about today coz it's just the same. But I feel that I'm drifting away from people. Or maybe people are drifting away from me. For one reason or another. I don't know why. Cried during P.E today without anyone noticing. Sat at one corner of the school and cried my lungs out. I just need to let off the frustrations, anger & what nots in me. I nearly fainted today. Probably because of the weather or maybe because of the problems I'm facing. I feel that this blog is the one and only way I can reveal all my feelings and thoughts. What are friends for then, u guys may ask. Well, like what I wrote above, it's just so difficult for me to talk & communicate with them. There seems to be a barrier between us. Sorry friends but this is what I really feel.
Sometimes I really feel that things are so unfair. Why must problems come to me one after another. There's just so many things for me to handle & it seems like there's no end to all these things. I'm just so fed-up. I don't know what's the matter with me these days. Blame it on mood swings if I must. Honestly, I feel that NO ONE understands about me & cares for me like he does. All these problems suddenly makes me remember him when truth is I've clean forgotten about him. When he was in my life, he would definitely listen to my problems. He would sense that something's wrong eventhough I didn't mention anything to him.
To put things bluntly, things deteriorated since the day that guy came into our lives. The person whom I'm not mentioning here. Since that day, I'm being left out. I thought that I could handle it- that it is normal coz that's a fact. But as the days went by, I felt that I was wrong. Still, to this day I'm in denial. So as not to make things worse, I've been hanging out with the guys. The only person so far who have noticed the difference in me is none other than liwi. Though he is my best friend, I can't possibly bother him with all my problems day & night right? If I'm lucky maybe all this is just what I think. It may not be true. I've been bottling all these in me for quite some time now. And I feel that it's time for me to let out my feelings. It's human nature to talk behind people's back & I'm sure that there's at least one person talking about me right at this very moment. God knows who. I don't care.
I'm so sorry to be doing this. There's just NO other ways for me to let out my feelings. This is the only way out for me. I'm prepared for whatever's going to happen. Pardon me if u have to see me cry at school. I'll try my best not to do so of coz. But if I can't hold back my tears then, again I say, I'M SORRY. There's just TOO much burden for me to carry.
I guess that's more than enough for today. These are the confessions that I want to make.