Saturday, June 06, 2009 17:59 Y
I've been dreaming a lot of you lately. But there's no way I can tell you everything because it seems so hard. You're so near but yet so far. You seem to be very busy to even ask me how I have I been. That's the only question that I wish you'd ask now. I wish I could turn back time where it could stand still at the point where you're so concern towards me. I felt secure, very secure. From you, I get my strength. With you, I gather my courage. I miss those times when you'd call me. I miss the days when we'd talk about all sorts of things. I miss those times we'd text each other. I miss the times when I'd confide in you when I feel down and out; the times when you'd come to me for advise. I miss the times when you'd call and teach me through the phone; your naggings and scoldings just because I wanted to give up. I miss all those times where we'd have our study sessions and the night studies after which you'd send me home. The times when I hang back in school with you where you'd finish up your portfolio and I'd do mine. I miss the times when you were able to read my mind and figure out things that even I was struggling with; the time when you found out about my crush on someone although I tried so hard to hide it from you. Ironic because I usually do that to Liwi; I can read him like a book. I miss every single thing with you and about you. A lot. Maybe to you, I may just be another normal ordinary friend. But to me, you're my strength, my buddy, my confidant. Because to you, I'd confide everything in me. To you, I'd share my problems and secrets because I know I can trust you with that. I know you'd just lend me a listening ear even if you can't help me with my problems. At least you tried and I know you'd always be there for me come what may. You know how hurt I was when you blamed me for something I didn't do the other time? I was so hurt but I relented because I didn't want to argue. Surprisingly, I'm most afraid of you among all my friends. Ironic isn't it? I miss you so much that I would cry myself to sleep reminiscing. Call me sensitive, call me emotional. Everyone seems to be calling and labelling me that. I've tried to change but easier said than done. Why am I feeling this way? I guess I feel insecure now without having you to support me. Yes, I know I'm too dependent on you and I need to change that habit but I need time. Probably a long time because I need you as my strength. When I broke down in class and everyone asked me what's wrong, I couldn't answer. I didn't know why, but every little thing that I did or that happened around me or even someone reminded me of you. And I wished you were there for me. You made and left a huge impact in my life. Now, I just wish you'd text me at this very moment even if it's nothing important because I can't bring myself to take the initiative and the risk. Sometimes I wish that I was in Fatin's shoes so that I could meet you. But there's no way, is there? I treasure you because honestly, a friend like you is hard to find. And I count myself lucky to have you. I need you because I feel that you're a part of me.
I love you and I miss you, friend.
P/S: Babes, you should know who I'm talking about. I feel down. I miss you guys as much as I miss him and Liwi.