`mira ♥

2010-02-28T19:25:00.003+08:00

After all that has happened, I just want to thank you for everything. Thank you for still remembering me after all these years. Thank you for telling me everything that's been bottling deep inside you. Thank you for giving me the chance to tell you everything that I've kept for all these years. I won't deny that it's going to be hard, but I can assure you that I will try my best to help you. I will be there when you need me. I will go through this with you. This is what I am able to do. This is what I dare to promise, I'll be there in every step that you take. I hope you won't take this kindness as a weakness. No, I am not that weak young girl no more. I won't be defeated that easily now, and I won't go down without a fight. What matters most now is my very own happiness.

2010-02-12T20:06:00.002+08:00

I've been abandoning this blog for quite some time now. And I'm back with some updates. There's a possibilty that I may delete this blog, then again maybe not. It depends though. School's out! Awesome! Two months of holidays and off to second year. And I probably have to repeat a module. :) How fast time flies. And I mean it literally. A lot of incidents happened within this one year period in poly. May be looking for a job but most probably not. I have to tie a lot of loose ends in my life now. Have to fulfil my resolution, make up for lost time and plenty more to be done. Repenting soon, if that helps.

Life as a whole has been wonderful yet worrying. I am enjoying myself with him, yes I am. But despite the fun and all, I still have this tinge of guilt and anxiety. Please tell me I am doing the right thing. Please let this be the last and final ordeal that I have to go through. Please let happiness prevail in my life after this chapter. I have to be strong, not just for me, but for him too. No matter how painful it is for me, I have to put on a brave front for him to go on; for him to succeed. It has always been that way. I'll be happy if he's happy. That being said, I will be selfish this time. I have to fight for my happiness now. I won't give in, not anymore. I won't be the naive and gullible girl I used to be. The girl who gave in to others at the expense of her own happiness. No, that won't be the case. I shall do what I deem is right. Whatever it takes to make me happy.

2010-01-17T13:12:00.003+08:00

I miss you even when you're around. I miss you even more when you're away. I shall wait, I hope I am strong enough to wait a little longer. I have been waiting for this experience and time to come, and I can smell victory nearing, on my side. I shall be a little more patient, but please don't take this for granted. This shall be the final chance, and if it doesn't work out, then you know what is going to happen. I told you before, I told you everything. Come back soon and I mean it literally. Settle your problems as soon as possible, it pains me to see you so pressurized. It makes me feel helpless and hopeless, not being able to help you at this time.

-Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same again.

And that's what you did to me. :)

2010-01-12T14:39:00.002+08:00

I'm doomed! I've been deluding myself all these years. I've been lying to myself. I was in denial. The vow is void, totally void! There's still a lot of risks, no doubt. Plenty of risks and I don't know if I should take the gamble. It won't be easy, it never has been. Not in the past, and even harder now. Sometimes I hate myself for falling for you. I don't know why it must be you. I don' t understand why you have to be the first and only guy I have ever loved. Circumstances are holding me back, making me think twice, thrice and a million times. I just want things to get better, to work out. To just find and ending to all these mess.

2010-01-03T20:05:00.003+08:00

The VOW mira, remember the vow!

Crap, I almost gave in to my emotions. You didn't realise I was talking about you, did you? I expected it. I broke down last night when he asked those questions out of the blue. I just did, I tried not to but I can't. I was helpless, I just didn't know what to do. I didn't sleep a wink last night, just stared into blank space. After all the hard work I put in to push those memories away bit by bit, he came back and brought back everything at one go. It didn't help that I had to meet him two days straight though I tried my best not to look at him in the eye. After so long of not experiencing the heartache, it caught me by surprise when it came back last night and now as I type this. This is what I hate, the thing that I feared. Why did you have to come back into my life? I was doing fine with my life after you left and before you reappeared. It took me a while to mend the "unhealed-yet-broken-again" heart. Why? Why? Why? I don't need another heartbreak just so you know. I honestly hope that things will get better for you and your girl. I'll be happy to see you happy, truly. Though I won't deny that it might hurt, but I'll deal with it like I always do.

2009-12-31T17:37:00.005+08:00

The year is coming to an end in a few hours time. 2009 was filled with changes. A lot of changes. Got my results back, not happy but yet content. I only dreaded one thing back then. I was not ready to be separated from my darlings. I know I will be able to meet up with my girlfriends but not my boyfriends. Especially not the three boys. It took me quite a while to get use to the fact. Broke down a couple of times in school, during the first semester. Didn't have my usuals there to comfort me. But I was glad I had Zee, Abg, and Tiara there for me. I had a wonderful bunch of classmates who were there when I was down. But still, nothing beats my Scorpions, what more my darlings. This semester, however, is completely different in a lot of ways. Truth to be told, I miss my darlings now. Though I met them like last week?

Safi/Elly/Fatin:
I miss you babes a lot! Thanks for always being there for me. You know all I want is to see you girls happy. I always want the best for you, even if it means at the expense of my own happiness. You girls know how I am like. Date soon babes!

Shazwan:
You buddy! I love you a lot okay? Just know that I will always be wherever you are, supporting you in anything that you do. No words of gratitude can ever express how I appreciate you. I'm just glad that our paths crossed, and that you are part of my life. Part of me. I also want the best for you as much as you want the best for me. I'm sorry though if I bother you too much sometimes. You understand me the best and that's enough for me.

Naszrul:
You should know that I love you a lot too okay? Thanks for all these years though you never fail to piss me off every single time. But I'm used to all your nonsense, so no sweat. Also, you never fail to make me laugh with all your antics. So, thanks for everything, be it good or bad. And, just don't get me involved if things go wrong with your tricks. I'm a neutral party.

Daryan:
A million thank you for all the entertainment. Thanks for all the smiles and laughters you brought to my face. You are a great friend, no point denying that. It took me so long to realise something, but better late than never isn't it? So yeah, I'm glad we're still friends. Thanks.

Zee/Ice/Tiara:
I'm glad that our paths crossed and that I know you guys. Thanks Zee for all the advises and help you have given me, I appreciate them a lot. Thanks Tiara for always listening to my craps and never ending stories. Thanks Abg for taking care of me and always protecting me. And also for giving in to me when I act like a baby. I love you guys a lot and that's it, nothing can change that fact.

And I really hope that my 755 Band can accede to my one favour and request, to learn and jam the song 'Use Somebody'. That's my hope for this new year. Please Shazwan, Naszrul, Daryan, Azizul, Wen Hao, please guys???

2009-12-27T19:56:00.002+08:00

Scorpions' BBQ took place yesterday. It was raining, but everything was fine when the food came. Thanks to everyone who came. It was a fruitful day, well at least for me. The event was successful except for the rain. Firstly, get to meet up with the greatest bunch of people whom I've not met in months. Met up with Safi, Elly and Liwi first, then hang around at his viod deck while waiting for the rest and the rain to stop. Ms Maz came and hang around with us before leaving for her post birthday celebration. The food came and we started the fire. Well, Shazwan started the fire to be exact. Mr Fireman using his skills and experience, and I watched him in action. I had so much fun barbecuing with buddy. Although I got "scolded" countless times by him, I still enjoyed my time with him. Thanks buddy for all the help and thanks Liwi for the entertainment(jgn ckp aku tk kasi credit eh). I was so tired that my vision became blur, seriously. Went home around 10 plus nearly 11 while the guys hang around there and clean up and had their games. Reached home, showered, texted buddy and off to bed. My body's still aching now, but I'll bear with it.

2009-12-19T19:38:00.003+08:00

I've been trying my best to stay within the boundaries. It's hard for the fact that I never used to have these unforeseen limitations. And just when I am trying, you managed to penetrate through the barriers I've set. You had to make feel restless, helpless and worried. Yes, I do feel that way. I am still human, I do know how to feel. My only hope is that we remain status quo, and for you to stay safe.

And Shazwan, I miss you ALOT! You're busy, I know. I don't blame you. In fact I was glad that you actually spared some time to ask about me. That was enough, really. And to see you wear that gift I gave you was enough to put a smile on my face. I can never emphasize enough, all I want is for you to be happy. If I have the power to not make you troubled, I would definitely pass them to you. But it's beyond me, and that being said, all I can do is to be here for you just like how you've always been there for me.

Someone said this to me before, "If I can put a smile on others, it's enough to put a smile on mine." Yes, that's my hope. I totally agree. I'm happy if everyone's happy, especially my loved ones.

2009-12-08T21:38:00.003+08:00

You have got to be strong. He won't be able to hurt you like he did before, never again. Just remember the vow you have made for yourself. You are stronger than this, you've done it before. No doubt you did cry last night after so long. It probably was just a reflex action, subconciously happening.

I need my antidote right now. I need D.

2009-12-05T21:53:00.002+08:00

Note to self: Be strong mira. It doesn't pay to go back to the past. Let it be the past, and look forward to the future. Don't, seriously DON'T start hoping. You know you'll only get hurt if it happens.

Okay, and now I miss so many people. I miss Naszrul. I miss Shazwan. I miss Daryan. I miss Zee. I miss Abg. I miss my girls. I miss my babies. And believe it or not, I dreamt about them all at once last night. My phone's so quiet today, no texts. Am I hoping for the text messages? NO! I BETTER NOT! Slapped myself real hard last night for thinking about something that I shouldnt't think. And I may slap myself again for thinking of hoping.

Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same.

2009-12-01T20:39:00.002+08:00

I can forgive but I can't forget. That's just how things work, period. Things were going on fine. Honestly, they were.

That was until you called all of a sudden. Though it mainly because of them, but that one fateful phone call caused me to have a sleepless night. The video calls were enough to make things difficult, to change everything. Now the texts and calls are coming into play. Please, no, don’t. Just stop it. I don’t want to be hopeful again just to stand by and watch them crash once more. No, it won’t happen. I’ve vowed not to let that happen again, ever. And if that is not enough, you simply had to relive the memory that has been locked up away for years. The one thing that actually changed everything back then, some time back.

Enough said, just leave things the way they are right now. Don’t make it worse nor better. Let’s remain status quo, it’s not hard. Just draw a clear line. I can be your listening war if you need one but don’t take things for granted. You continue living your life and I’ll live mine. Fair enough I would say.

2009-11-24T20:15:00.006+08:00

Gave school a miss today. Well, at least something good came out from it. Met Akif and Zee unintentionally, unplanned. Hang out with them because dear Akif wanted to go to Polyclinic to get a freaking MC for missing class today. Also, yes, and Zee too. Yeah, so chilled out because it was lunch time so we had to wait. They had their lunch in a way, which led to me nearly walking away. I had fun though it was super unplanned. :) Thanks darlings for the day. Hang out again soon someday. Love ya darlings!

And it seems like I know you better than she does. But nonetheless, it doesn't bother me anymore. Know your limits, because I'm limiting myself so that I won't fall back into the pit.

Time heals what reason cannot. - Seneca

2009-11-18T21:35:00.002+08:00

You claimed that I won't lose you as a friend. Was that just for show? Were they just mere words? I don't know, you tell me. Because from where I am standing and from my observations, it truly are just words coming from you. I don't mind actually. I used to mind, but not anymore. I saw this coming so it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I'm getting over it, yes faster than expected.

And I hope that I won't fall back to the past. It's history and let's just let be that way. Keep your distance, stay clear and draw a clear line. It's for the best. I need my own space right now. I can't help but notice that my life has been revolving around these two guys. I need a break, really!

2009-11-14T17:47:00.002+08:00

I think I cried in my sleep. My dream seemed so real that I could feel it happening. Every single emotion, every single touch and every single word. Beautiful nightmare in a way. It woke me up after that. I wanted it to continue, but then again, it's a dream. Anyway, these past few days been feeling rather not myself. Mood swings gets the better of me, I guess. I miss a whole lot of people.

Please don't let history repeat itself. It shouldn't happen.

2009-11-03T20:33:00.002+08:00

I was only anticipating today. For the first time, I had fun in class and especially for today's module. Somewhat like I'm back home. Thanks for the one lesson YY, it was worthwhile. Went for lunch with Abg. He accompanied me to get my drink. Being the baby sister, he fetched me from class. :) Then me being the good little baby sister, accompanied him outside campus to smoke. He had two sticks by the way, just like that. But I nearly cried, all because of a crazy stupid dog! We were sitting on the stairs; chilling happily, talking about everything - about motors, lessons and all, when we thought that someone was coming down. When we turned around, we saw one little puppy. LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING! Keep that in mind! For no reason, it barked at us and charged towards us. My instant reaction was like "WHAT THE FUCK!!" I literally jumped down the stairs, in my dress. Yes, so much for wearing a dress. I hid behind Abg because that bloody stupid dog was inches away from us. It nearly chased us. The owner, one bald old man, did nothing. Then came another dog. I was so shocked that I could hear my heart pumping, very loud. I was on the verge of tears. Abg nearly gave that fucking dog a flying kick, like literally kick it. He was like, "Pukimak kau la bodoh, naseb baek aku tk tendang kau sial!" Yes, that vulgar. Matrep pe Abg aku. ^^All because of a bloody fucking, crazy, stupid dog!

2009-10-26T20:42:00.008+08:00

I'm trying to be nice and not be petty. I'm protecting what's left on the shelf, whatever remains in our hands. Count yourself lucky that I still bother to approach you and ask about your well being. I admit that you're not easy to forget, I don't want to forget you even. But I'm taking small steps to let go, yes, it's working. So, don't push the limits. I've already said that you've already crossed the line, pushed my limits to the extreme. Yes, it is still void, it is still true. But I gave you the benefit of the doubt and gave you one minor last chance. Make full use of this chance because, when's it's used up, there's no turning back. I'll turn nasty, and you won't want to see me that way, you know you don't. I never want to see me that way either. So, please cooperate with me here, will you please? This is the only way out. Don't force me.

This could be the end.

2009-10-25T21:01:00.003+08:00

I've been having recurring dreams about you and I can't explain why. I miss you. I need you. I'm dependent on you. I want you to pamper me like a little girl. I want you to protect me from all the harm I'm vulnerable to. I need your advises and your listening ear. I want to give you the greatest and warmest hug everytime I see you. I want to tell the whole world who you are to me. I want the best for you, just like how you want the best for me. I want you to change, turn over a new leaf. It's not easy, I know. Take baby steps, that's a good start. And I know you are trying already, yes I noticed. I want you to be safe. I really treasure your presence. I really do miss you though you are always here, with me. I don't want to ever lose you. I thank God for letting our paths cross. I'm greatful to have met you, to have you in my life. I love spending time with you because you're so busy these days. I love punching you and how I would hurt my hand when you don't even feel anything. I love smacking your tummy and see how you'd pout. I miss the times when you'd carry me on your back like a baby. I miss how you'd laugh at me and would pinch my cheecks whenever I whined. I miss skipping lessons and walking home with you. I miss you "scolding" me and give that one of a kind look everytime I said something that I shouldn't say. I miss the times when you'd come up to me and ask me what's wrong whenever I hid in a corner and cry. You'd always ask who bullied me, that you'd find that person who'd made me cry. That's the sweetest thing that ever came from you. I don't expect you to tell me your lifestory nor your problems. But I'd definitely be there if you need me. I don't have a brother to call my own. Therefore, I've long yearned for a big brother, a brother who'd love me and protect me from everything. And I've finally found the brother that I've been looking for. Though we're not related by blood, but I'm glad to have you as my brother. To date, you've always be there for me, to catch me when I'm falling, to guard me from dangers ahead. Which is why I hope that you'd always treat me as your baby sister who needs to be pampered, and never to judge me. Well truth be told, you've been a great brother to me, period. And I'm thankful for that. You may have your flaws, and so do I. You know how sentimental I am, so don't blame me for being emotional right now. I know that you too, are not the sentimental type unlike me. But just for this once, allow me to express how I feel. That being said, thank you for appearing in my life. Thank you for everything you've done, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry for all the wrongs I've done, the troubles that I've caused you. But most importantly, I thank you for being the greatest brother to me. I love you and I miss you abg.

2009-10-23T21:49:00.004+08:00

I'm disgusted at how these kind of girls can contradict themselves. It's really disturbing to know that their appearances are just for show. They do it for the sake of doing and not from their heart. It's disgrace and I feel ashamed for them. I don't want to stereotype but the majority that I've seen proved otherwise. Are they following the trend or what I've learnt today, sameness? It's ridiculous to see them on the streets, thinking that they're angelic, a saint with the halo above their head, but only to know that they're the same like or worse even than the typical minahs. They don't practice what they've preached, or at least studied. I may not be the most saint person around, but at least I know what's wrong and what's right. But as of now, they have only deepen my negative impression on them.

On the other hand, check out Liwi's display picture and the smiley face. Super similar sia! Hahahaha! Me & Liwi are trying to picture him in a scene of P.Ramlee's film. Classic epic reaction sia! HAHAHA! Kekek siak wii!

I'm rebelling.

2009-10-21T08:23:00.001+08:00

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY DARYAN BIN KASSIM!

May all your wishes come true and I wish you all the best in everything you do. Thanks for being my friend, I owe you a lot. Thanks for always pissing me off with that attitude of yours. But then, thanks also for always cheering me up and making me smile when I'm down; with that guitar in the above photos. Enjoy your day today and make the best of it, take advantage of the opportunities you have today. Stay true to yourself and be happy like you always do. Happy 17th Daryan. Birthday treat coming your way.

2009-10-14T21:04:00.005+08:00

I don't blame you, you're just you; the typical you that I've always known. Maybe someone made you this way, I don't know. But I blame myself for not being able to be by your side. I blame me for not being a good friend. I blame me for being who I am to you. I blame myself for whatever things that happened. I got no one else to blame other than me. I'd rather blame myself to stop all these shits from going on. I don't need to be somewhere I'm not needed. Not anymore. But that being said, I'll still be wherever you are, in spirit. For now, I'll be at places where I need to be. I know I am not able to please everyone in this world and sometimes I don't see the need to do so. I can't possibly please each and every single one of you out there. I can't help it if you have problems with me or whatsoever, I didn't ask for it. I wasn't born to please everyone and I live by that motto. I repeat, I wasn't born into this world to please everyone. I have myself to think about. I'm sorry if I didn't meet your requirements or expectations, that must be beyond me. I'm only human, and I do make mistakes. I'm only human, and I have feelings. I'm only human, and I'm not perfect.
Nobody is.

2009-10-09T21:52:00.004+08:00

It's funny how hiders hide something that seekers already found out.

True, I'm disappointed in you, whoever you are, go figure. But enough is enough, I can't be bothered. There's no point. I sat there, crying, and you all didn't notice. No, not even one. Even someone I'm not close to knows how I feel inside. I feel betrayed, somehow. Like I've been pushed aside, that kind of feeling. I really don't get it why people change overnight, over a certain situation. But please, don't be fickle. It won't do you any good. Not to any of you. I got to learn from someone and be heartless, maybe it's not that bad afterall. Let me be cold now instead. Just stop pretending, stop hiding, it's your life you're living. So go ahead and do what you deem fit, I have no say. Really, I'm going to be fine. Get it over with, will you? That'll make me feel better.

2009-10-07T21:58:00.003+08:00

I don't feel at ease, I can't figure out why. Spent the day with Iffie, Safi and the guys. But something was wrong somewhere. I ended going off with Safi to somewhere that brought back memories for me. I nearly broke down. But nothing seems to happen. Safi got smitten for moment at one point of time. ;) I got all shivery for no reason, well for a stupid reason. Right now, I just feel so fucked up. I feel like I need to know something and no one's telling me what. I feel so sick now, body and mind making way to illnesses. I'm not myself recently, too much things to handle. And seriously, I really can't take it any longer. This has to stop, I'm honestly tired. I'm through, period. Farewell.

2009-10-02T20:53:00.002+08:00

One hectic week. Packed with activities and I had fun. Enjoyed this last bit of holidays before school reopens - which I'm so NOT looking forward to. So, went raya-ing with Scorpions' on Wednesday. Though it was different from last year cause my girls weren't around, it went on fine. Went to Daryan's house and he joined us after Liwi persuaded him. POWER OF PERSUASION! (: They made the rockets and Daryan nearly got himself killed! He made one clever move which was actually stupid. Went home around 11 plus and I couldn't get to sleep. The next day, went to Sakura with the 755FC guys. It was fun! They were making one hell lot of noise. The table next to ours were annoyed I think. Haha. Sang a birthday song when there wasn't anyone's birthday. After the guys had their tanks filled, I tagged along when they proceeded to play soccer at their usual spot. It's been ages since I've been to 755. Stayed there till 8pm and I went home. I'm so shagged already. Today went back to school with Wak Hao to install whatever nonsense. It took 3-4 hours to get it installed! And now my laptop is lagging because of it. Tomorrow I'm gonna join the guys at the field to make myself better since I'm sick now. Photos are all up at Facebook.

2009-09-27T17:19:00.003+08:00

Baby break away
Let him go
I don't know he's done to you
But I know that it's time to move on
Girl your is love blind

[Love Is Blind]

Someone, please sing me this song. Knock some sense into my head. Just when I'm starting to take small steps to move on, some things are changing. Things are getting better, improving although they're not major. This just makes it harder for me. I'm still wondering why it's hard for me to forget you. And I don't know why up till now, you're the only one who can make me smile and melt when I'm fuming mad or even sad or whatever it is I'm feeling. See, I told you I've a thousand questions up in my mind. And now, I know I have silent readers. If you're reading this, HELLO SHAZWAN! (: Yeah, buddy's reading my blog now and then. Thank you Shazwan for telling me that you read my blog. I'm positive he will know whoever it is I'm referring in here because he knows it all. And that's why he's MY buddy! (:

2009-09-24T09:45:00.002+08:00

I've been waking up early for the past few days though I slept very late at night. I'm exhausted but I can't get myself to sleep. And I have dark rings now. So, I had such a great time karaoke-ing with the guys yesterday. Well, they sang while I just hang around them. Thanks Daryan, Liwi, Shazwan and Wenhao for the fun and laughters. Too much laughters that I feel like my stomach's going to explode. Them and their antics can literally make you roll on the floor, laughing. They're what I call my laughing gas. Videos have been uploaded, so watch and imagine the amount of laughters we had. Just the 5 of us but the atmosphere was as if there were 50 of us. Thanks guys, I love you all! (:

2009-09-17T23:12:00.003+08:00

Thanks for acceding to my request, it brightened up my mood. I wish time would stop ticking right there and then, but I can't. It should end here, it must before I fall back to my own pit. Thank you but I can't let this drag any longer. I miss you and that's the only thing I can do.

2009-09-14T11:52:00.002+08:00

I hate it when I've nothing to do. My mind will start wondering and I'll think alot when I don't want to. Nothing good comes out of it cause it can never be something positive. So yeah, did all the housework by myself to get things of my mind. But then again, I will still do alot of thinking when night falls. Sometimes I just wish I can know what's in your mind. You can be so mysterious that it makes me want to figure you out which will only tire me out. Do me a favour, don't hold back anymore, just let it go. This applies to you and me.

Is it because that I don't have you which then makes me want you?

2009-08-31T20:36:00.004+08:00

My heart's aching, I feel like crying now. But I'm going to be strong and not let these emotions get to me and hinder my decision. I will stand by my decision no matter how hard it gets. Thank you for all the wonderful memories, they will always be a part of me. But I have to leave it as it is. I have to move on, and I can't keep hanging on. I have to come to terms with it sooner or later, and I've decided that it should be now. It's been going on for so long and I don't see where it's going. But I still have one more request before everything ends. I'm still hoping for that one particular song that I've been requesting. Farewell and have the time of your life.

2009-08-27T22:06:00.002+08:00

I shall stop being indecisive. I have to come up with a decision, soon and fast! I must stand by my own decision, come what may. I can't keep hanging on without knowing where it will lead me to. That being said, I think and I hope to let everything go and move on. For real, I need and I have to mean what I said. I will try my best. I'm exhausted, I'm tired, I'm shagged, I'm drained and I'm done with it. Let's forget about it, stop the masquerade. Enough with the charade, stop pretending. I've lost the battle, I admit defeat. I've raised the white flag. Go on and celebrate your victory. Yes, you've won and I've lost. The battle is over. Thank you and goodbye.

2009-08-26T11:11:00.002+08:00

School's OUT! Holiday's IN! (: I'm all smiles now.
Had an emotional breakdown yesterday after class. Since it was the last day we are going to be together, we had a little something for everyone in class. I cried my eyes out. I've been there, done that, and I thought I was strong enough to go through it once again. But I wasn't, I was a crybaby once again. Thanks for all the hugs guys. I'm going to miss you guys, E37Awesome!

Teacher's day's coming soon. Scorpions planning to meet up to go back to school. I miss my Scorpions and ironically I miss the school! In the process of creating a logo for my dearest 755FC guys. For fun, since it's the holidays already. (:

GOODLUCK DARYAN AND SAFI FOR YOUR ORALS LATER! I KNOW YOU GUYS CAN MAKE IT! LOVE YOU GUYS! (:

2009-08-22T20:30:00.007+08:00

What if I walked away and never looked back?
What if I told you I was in trouble?
What if today was the last day you’d see me?
What if I told you something good happened to me?
What if I said that it’s all over?
What if I am finally able to let go and move on?
What if I need your support more than anything else?
What if I told you that you are the only one who can put a smile on my face?
What if we never knew each other in the first place?

What would you do?
Would you bother?
Would you even care?

Enlighten me, I need to know. Something's bothering me again, it always does. I'm sure you know. You don't like it when I keep things to myself, when you know I have 1001 questions on my mind. I don't like it either. But things just happens.

2009-08-15T22:00:00.002+08:00

Spent the day watching the guys played soccer. Well spent Saturday. Had quite a good laugh sitting there alone watching them and their funny acts.

Sat in the rain. Stared into blank space. Wished for something I'm sure will not happen. It's coming to an end. Let's stop this masquerade. Enough with the charade. It's getting nowhere.

2009-08-14T19:47:00.003+08:00

It feels so different suddenly. Things are changing, some for the better, some for the worse. I can't adapt to these drastic changes. Things happen for a reason? I don't really know. Rescue me from all these never ending troubles and worries. They are beginning to weigh me down. I need to revive myself. If I could, I would have stop these changes from happening. But it's beyond me, I've no power to do so. I'm so close to raising the white flag, to admit defeat. I have enough on my shoulders, period. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm drained out and I'm shagged. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

2009-08-10T21:35:00.003+08:00

I need to hear it straight from you. I've been waiting for so long it hurts. I've tried and I'm still trying. I'm afraid to tell you, I'm afraid to lose you. Although I'd rather it be a secret, sometimes I can't help but wish it's revealed. It can be a burden sometimes, having to pretend like it's nothing. I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me.

2009-08-06T20:53:00.003+08:00

If only I had the power to stop the clock from ticking away, I would freeze the time where I felt that I was needed by you. To the point when I had the most fabulous time with you, without any distractions from anyone. Time is taking away my happy memories with you, shortening our time. If only I can rewind back to those memories and freeze them, I'll be the happiest girl on Earth.

2009-08-04T11:47:00.005+08:00

Would you grant me my wish? Would you give me one last dance before the curtain call? Would you, before everything comes to an end and we'll say our goodbyes?

Goodbye is nearing.
A new beginning should be coming.
Would I be able to move on?
If I could, I would.
It's easier said than done, isn't it?
I'm more vulnerable now than ever.

2009-08-03T21:30:00.003+08:00

Just One Last Dance

Just one last dance...
Oh baby...just one last dance

We meet in the night in the Spanish cafe
I look in your eyes just don't know what to say
It feels like I'm drowning in salty water
A few hours left 'til the sun's gonna rise
Tomorrow will come an it's time to realize
Our love has finished forever

How I wish to come with you (wish to come with you)
How I wish we make it through

Chorus:
Just one last dance before we say goodbye
When we sway and turn round and round and round
It's like the first time
Just one more chance
Hold me tight and keep me warm
Cause the night is getting cold and
I don't know where I belong
Just one last dance

The wine and the lights and the Spanish guitar
I'll never forget how romantic they are
But I know, tomorrow I'll lose the one I love

There's no way to come with you
It's the only way to do

Just one last dance, just one more chance, just one last dance

(Thanks Danhui for the song)

2009-08-01T21:06:00.003+08:00

Watched the guys played soccer. It's been ages since I last watched them, so it was great. The weather was pretty alright, that helped. Became the photographer again today, I volunteered to be one actually; to keep me occupied. The guys won the match and it was a great game, at least for me. They were crazy as usual, as expected. Photos of yesterday's session is up at facebook, today's photos will be uploaded soon. Once I get it from Khaliq.

3 out of 48 photos.

2009-07-31T23:31:00.003+08:00

Glad that I met up with the guys. It was the best thing that happened this week. Apart from getting my tickets, thank you Daryan. Thank you guys for making my day today. I was so dead in school but everything changed when I was with them. They never fail to make smile and laugh, stressed and pissed. But that's what makes me love them and enjoy their presence, they're just being themselves. The jamming session was awesome, thanks for forcing me to follow. No regrets there, for sure. The best bunch of people one can ever hang out with. (: But next time, tell me beforehand if you guys want to have another jamming session. Much appreciated darlings! Thanks guys for today though it was a super last minute thing. Photos on facebook, but Khaliq didn't upload everything, lazy guy! There goes all my hardwork! =.=

2009-07-30T20:26:00.003+08:00

Thank God that everything's over. Alhamdullilah. But though we've cleared the air on that particular misunderstanding, which you don't recall, it will still take some time to get things on track. Sorry, but I'm not like you. I won't be able to forget easily, it lingers. Nevertheless, I was glad we had that talk. I was never able to get you to sit down and talk, so it was the most surprising thing. Thank you for bothering.

2009-07-26T14:23:00.003+08:00

It was awkward, I'm sure you noticed. It was not easy, never been easy. I have tried my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough. Nevertheless, I will keep on moving. Look forward to the future. The past was great but I'm sure the future holds better things for me. Maybe you're in it? Hopefully something good will happen next. Ignoring you is the only thing I can do now, but it's hard. Too much for me to handle. It's killing me to know that you're near but yet so far. One wrong move and I may lose you forever, a friend who is close to me. We'll see how it goes, let nature take its course.

2009-07-19T18:56:00.003+08:00

Leave me alone to sort out my thinking. Give me time to unwind myself, to get away from all these problems. Give me time and space to reflect, the way you wanted me to. I'd rather be the one ignoring you than to have you ignore me. I don't want this friendship to end, never crossed my mind. Never regretted knowing you. I don't wish for us to behave like strangers what more enemies. But right at this moment, that's what I'm going to do to make myself feel better by not bothering you. The only thing that's ended is my wishful thinking. So, spare me some space for myself now. We have nothing to talk about, not now at least. Thank you.

2009-07-10T23:50:00.002+08:00

Do you know how much it hurts? Have you ever for once spared a thought for others if not me? Why does it have to be this way? No matter how ignorant you are, I gave in. Why? Because that's just the way you are. I knew things don't always ends up the way we want it. But neither did I expect things to turn out this way, ending on a bad note. Never! You called me sensitive just because I said what was bottling inside me, what was bothering me. That cracked me up actually. So, eventually you do have feelings. I finally managed to crack the shell surrounding you, to get you to feel something. I'm sorry though that you had to be pissed. Well face it, so do I. You don't care, do you? Neither do I, I don't care whether you care or not. That's not my problem, not anymore. Thank you for expressing what you feel. But unfortunately, I already knew it. I know I'm sensitive, well who doesn't? One way or another, that feeling will come to you. You want me to think over what you said. Yes, I will, for my own benefit. Thanks, but will you think over what I've said? No, because you simply don't care about what others say. Sometimes it's a good thing, but know the limits. Talking about limits, there's a limit to everything. So does my patience. Apparently, you've tested my patience too much; stepped on my toes for so long, that you've gone over the limits. There's so much I can take, but not when people put words in my mouth. Especially not from you, but since it already happened, there's no turning back. That was the last straw I can take. And I'm sure you're gloating because I assume that that had been your plan all along? Things happen for a reason? What reason can there be if it's going to end this way? You have your own things in mind and I have mine. Unfortunately, we don't agree on the same things, do we? Have you ever questioned yourself? What may be wrong, did you say the right things? That kind of questions, have you? Have you ever done some self assessing and self reflection? If you have not, I suggest you do. It might help you. A lot. Just think it over. I may be in the wrong sometimes, but you are never always right. Humans make mistake, and that includes you and me. So why do you always have to say things without ever thinking of the consequences? I’ve said this before and I will say it again, your words can sting like a bee. Yes, they can hurt a lot. Ever realised that? You can be too simple minded sometimes that it bothers me when it shouldn’t. You want to be heartless? That’s up to you now, not my problem; I don’t care. You’ll see me just the same, I’ll show you what being heartless really is. Thank you so much for everything or nothing. But it won’t be easy after what happened. This is exactly what I dreaded the most. And to think that it is happening. My fault that I can’t control and avoid this. You’re going to love this because why? I won’t be bothering you anymore, not anytime soon. You wanted me to think things over, didn’t you? I will do just that. So farewell, enjoy and thank you D.
(Though I know you won’t be reading this first hand, I’m positive SOME people will tell you.)

2009-06-30T10:16:00.002+08:00

I've never felt more touched before this unfortunate mishap happened. I've never had so many people care for me at onece before. So what Liwi said does make sense afterall. This is a blessing in disguise, I guess. Only one disappointment though, or it should have been one. I'd expected it anyway, no big deal. Which is the reason why I didn't tell him in the first place. Alright so, thanks to everyone for the endless support and encouragement. Really appreciate it. Sorry to those I didn't tell, it's not a great news to share. Besides, I didn't want to trouble anyone.

A big thank you to E37Awesome for the undying concern shown, for checking up on me every single day, and for the love and support. No words can ever show all of you my gratitude. We can get through this, I'm sure. We've grown and bonded so much in just a few months and that really touches me. E37Awesome will be back - closer, stronger & more happening, this I promise you! Get well soon loves!

A special thanks to Naszrul & Ridzuan for staying with me throughout the ordeal. Keeping me company through the night when I was alone at TTSH. Thank you for giving me the support to move on and, showing me the love and care all this while. Also, thank you for the encouraging words when I was really weak and down. Sorry for the trouble that I've caused you both.

Thank you once again to each and everyone of you. I really appreciate everything. I love you guys from the bottom of my heart! ♥

2009-06-13T20:22:00.005+08:00

I've been pondering over what Ridzuan said last night. I was surprise with his maturity and I was obviously dumbfounded and confounded with what he said. He definitely had a point there when he made that statement. It was true, true enough that I actually couldn't sleep, thinking about it. Maybe he's right afterall. Don't be too "obsessed" and to start thinking for my future. Maybe it's time to let go. I know I've said that I was so over you long ago. But something made me swallow back my own words. Something about you simply makes it hard for me to let go. Something about you just makes me so smitten. Why? If you're meant to be mine, you will or you would have. Time will tell, won't it? I don't know, should I or shouldn't I? Is it worth it? Too many questions, too little answers. You never fail to put a smile on my smile, whether you realise or not. I can never stay mad at you for a long period of time, which is totally weird for me. Also, I wondered about the possibility of another thing that Ridzuan said. Honestly, it made me laugh but at the same time, I wished it was true. Which obviously is not. It's not easy, really, but time will tell the outcome. Tell me something that's unexpected, that will catch me offguard. I'm hoping but at the same time, I won't. Still, thank you for the wonderful memories.

2009-06-06T17:59:00.005+08:00

I've been dreaming a lot of you lately. But there's no way I can tell you everything because it seems so hard. You're so near but yet so far. You seem to be very busy to even ask me how I have I been. That's the only question that I wish you'd ask now. I wish I could turn back time where it could stand still at the point where you're so concern towards me. I felt secure, very secure. From you, I get my strength. With you, I gather my courage. I miss those times when you'd call me. I miss the days when we'd talk about all sorts of things. I miss those times we'd text each other. I miss the times when I'd confide in you when I feel down and out; the times when you'd come to me for advise. I miss the times when you'd call and teach me through the phone; your naggings and scoldings just because I wanted to give up. I miss all those times where we'd have our study sessions and the night studies after which you'd send me home. The times when I hang back in school with you where you'd finish up your portfolio and I'd do mine. I miss the times when you were able to read my mind and figure out things that even I was struggling with; the time when you found out about my crush on someone although I tried so hard to hide it from you. Ironic because I usually do that to Liwi; I can read him like a book. I miss every single thing with you and about you. A lot. Maybe to you, I may just be another normal ordinary friend. But to me, you're my strength, my buddy, my confidant. Because to you, I'd confide everything in me. To you, I'd share my problems and secrets because I know I can trust you with that. I know you'd just lend me a listening ear even if you can't help me with my problems. At least you tried and I know you'd always be there for me come what may. You know how hurt I was when you blamed me for something I didn't do the other time? I was so hurt but I relented because I didn't want to argue. Surprisingly, I'm most afraid of you among all my friends. Ironic isn't it? I miss you so much that I would cry myself to sleep reminiscing. Call me sensitive, call me emotional. Everyone seems to be calling and labelling me that. I've tried to change but easier said than done. Why am I feeling this way? I guess I feel insecure now without having you to support me. Yes, I know I'm too dependent on you and I need to change that habit but I need time. Probably a long time because I need you as my strength. When I broke down in class and everyone asked me what's wrong, I couldn't answer. I didn't know why, but every little thing that I did or that happened around me or even someone reminded me of you. And I wished you were there for me. You made and left a huge impact in my life. Now, I just wish you'd text me at this very moment even if it's nothing important because I can't bring myself to take the initiative and the risk. Sometimes I wish that I was in Fatin's shoes so that I could meet you. But there's no way, is there? I treasure you because honestly, a friend like you is hard to find. And I count myself lucky to have you. I need you because I feel that you're a part of me.
I love you and I miss you, friend.

P/S: Babes, you should know who I'm talking about. I feel down. I miss you guys as much as I miss him and Liwi.

2009-06-03T10:55:00.002+08:00

Sentosa outing with E37Awesome was great! I really enjoyed myself yesterday. So, woke early at 5 am to assist my mum with the cooking. Got ready around 7 plus and met up with Ice, Hanisah, Iftirah and Aainaa at BNS. Trained our way to Jurong East to meet up with the rest but had to wait for Kane. As everyone knows, I hate waiting for people for more than 15 minutes.(: So yeah, we made our way to Harbourfront to meet up with the rest of class where Mr Organiser himself was late. Typical Adam. Went to Vivo to get all the drinks and headed to Pahlawan Beach. All hell break loose there. All the monkeys started the monkeying around. Haha. While the rest were happily playing inside the water, Hanisah, Iftirah and myself were filling our stomachs since we were hungry and there was so much food. And we didn't plan o get wet anyway. But apparently, the monkeys got hold of me and Iftirah, and they carried us and threw us into the sea. THANK YOU! So yeah, I got wet and fortunately I brought extra clothings along. Yes, for the first time in my life, I got inside the water. Hooray for me! =.= The guys had a drink(if you know what I mean) and we watched the sunset together. It was fun. Everyone was tired by then and we all just hanged around, played games and then went to shower. I went off with Iftirah and Ice and Danhui but Danhui left us earlier cause she had to meet her boyfriend. So on our way home, the three of us were "lost" cause we were so freaking tired! We landed on each other as a result. Haha. And I got the biggest shock for the year when Ice said he knows that guy! Yes, should have seen my reaction then sia! Abg, you just made the world smaller. And guess who I saw at Sentosa? Go figure, Safi knows who. ;) Reached home at 9 pm. Freshened up myself and off to lalaland! Pictures will be uploaded soon people! Waiting for the photos from Aainaa and Hanisah.(: It was a great day, really! I had loads of fun!!! (:

2009-05-22T22:25:00.002+08:00

This week is the most stressful week so far! Damn, the lessons were SO FREAKING confusing! I had a hard time understanding everything. UT's are coming up. Had Cognitive the other day, did my best(I think). Zee was distracting me with all those sounds & grunts. -.-" Was supposed to have Science UT today but was cancelled due to some technical errors. So yeah! Had SA welfare day just now. It was okay. Been sleeping late these few days. Did some revision and at the same time video calling with others. Lol, yes late at night.Nothing better to do right? Fun sia! Haha. He reminds me of someone I miss. Sorry, won't be updating my blog frequently now. I'm busy! (: Lots of love people! I miss everyone that I miss! Lol.

2009-05-16T19:31:00.005+08:00

A rollercoster week for me. A fucking hectic week with a mixture of feelings. I really need to do something with this mood swings of mine. The only people who can handle my mood swings are my babes & my dudes. But now, being in a totally different environment, it's hard for me. I can be so happy and cheerful one moment. I can become a totally different person in the next. Somehow every little thing that happened this week reminded me of some things. Even in my state, my classmates still cared and bother asking me whether I was okay. That alone can make me reminisce because it so reminds me of Scorpions. Yes, my class E37A is so much like Scorpions. But no matter how great they are, nothing can ever beat Scorpions. Sometimes I wish that I was back with my Scorpions, but no, reality is that we have to move on. I'm trying my best to do so. E37A has bonded really well, we're so close that I feel like we're family. Again, reminding me of Scorpions. We were strangers to begin with but are family in the next moment. And now, after this semester, we'll have to separate. And I have to go through the toughest ordeal again. I don't wish to go through the process again, it hurts.

Okay, I did have fun too this week apart from all those emotional breakdown I suffered so suddenly. (: Thanks Adam, Ice and to all who gave me a treat this week. Haha. I love my class, they're forever so hyper & that's also the reason why I drag my ass to school everyday. Haha. But I must say, the first two days of week was the best. Monday we had a birthday celebration & on Tuesday, Adam continued it because he wasn't present on Monday. Revenge on his part. Lol. The class was SOOO high on Tuesday. Trust me, it was creepy at first. Adam panicked somehow but everything got better. Thanks to all for the hugs, care & concern and the piggyback ride! I love you guys. I was lucky to be able to meet up with Fatin and Ridzuan yesterday. I missed them a lot! & I miss a lot of people! That hurts!

I miss you bestfriend! I want to meet you SOON! I want to hear you brag about your body! I miss seeing you smile and laugh till you drop. I miss every moment spent with you, and I miss seeing making a fool of me and yourself. I miss you & I love you Naszrul!

I miss you buddy! Thank you still being there for me. Thanks for all the time spent to hear me grumble and whine and complain and cry. Thank you for being the greatest confidant and listening ear. I miss you a lot Shazwan!

2009-05-11T20:35:00.004+08:00

I HAD SUPER A LOT OF FUN TODAY!!!

Today was mixture of events. In the morning we had fun. During lunch we smashed Zee's face with chocolate cake. I wasn't involved in it yet I also got sabo-ed a little. It was really fun, seriously. Then out of the blue, his mood changed due to some reason. But then, the situation got better. Only to know that there's was another problem. Me & Tiara were freaking irritaed & pissed with them. Putting that aside, after the break everything was back to normal. Had our lessons and all. After school Zee got sabo-ed for the second time(I think). Gary's idea. Haha. We all went to somewhere near Civic Center for another round of sabotaging. This was where the fun began. I'm just too lazy to elaborate. Haha. Me & Tiara chipped in money to buy him a cake since he was whining for a cake. Haha. So yeah, stayed there for around 1 hour and headed home after that. 13 more to go eh Zee. (: Tomorrow's your turn!

2009-05-09T20:55:00.007+08:00

I THINK I'M SICK!!! BOOO! This week's summary. Tiring, annoying and pissed! I was really tired this past week for whatever reason it is. Annoyed by a lot of things that just didn't seem right. Pissed because I'm on PMS mode.

Okay, I had fun on Thursday because the class was extra crazy. Haha. We had our photo taking session after class. Then I rushed to 846 to meet my babes. I missed them so much! We chilled and caught up with one another. Saw Era & Rhateena, and we hanged out together. Just to kill time. Went home just to know that I had to go back to where I came from. Lol. Yes, the minute I reached home, Shazwan texted me asking whether I was still there. He was going to that place to study. So, I thought that I should accompany him because I miss my buddy so much! Should have known better that he was going to be late. I mean, he was never punctual but this time round I really thought I was late. He told me he was arriving in 15 minutes. I was still at home taking a quick bite and shower and I was 30 mintues late. STILL! He was later than me. Typical. So yeah, stayed there for awhile. I just stared at him doing his work cause I didn't dare to talk. Knowing Shazwan, he doesn't like to be disturbed when doing his work. But, it was enough for me. Seeing him just made all my troubles go away because like I said, he's my source of strength. I love you buddy!(: Thursday was hectic! I couldn't sleep at all that night. & I mean it literally! I didn't sleep a wink. It was so torturous. I mean, I could even help my mum cook at 5 in the morning when I'm usually sleeping like a log. Friday I went to school super early but I headed back home duing lunch. I just couldn't take the pain. My head was spinning so badly & I felt so feverish & I was shivering in class. Slept for the whole day yesterday.(:

Today went to Zee's place with Aainaa, Tiara & Ice. A lot of laughters, seriously. All began with Tiara. Very cute la that girl, so clueless suddenly. We had a good laugh though Ice was annoying! -.-" Lol. After that, headed to cousin's house. Met my nieces but I was too tired to entertain them. Baby Nyla was so adorable! Celebrated my sister's birthday after that & here I am now blogging. Done!

10 May 09 - Tomorrow.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY ZEE! May all your wishes come true! You're one annoying weirdo, you know that? Haha. I know I owe something. & So do you. (:

2009-05-05T18:15:00.002+08:00

Muhd Ridzuan, I miss you little kiddo! (: Yes, when there's a will, there's a way. I'll meet you really soon okay? I promise. All the best for your exams!

I seriously am in no mood for school this week. What's with the temperature and lessons and all. I just feel sick this week. Everytime lesson starts, I'll feel sick for no reason. I couldn't pay attention in class and I feel cold when it's not. And now I'm just stuck to all these quizes on Facebook, all thanks to Liwi. I told you, he's the biggest "penghasut" in town that I've ever met. Haha. I miss everyone. I hope Scorpions will have an outing during the vacation. Please!

2009-05-01T18:59:00.003+08:00

(Photo taken during Prom - pardon my face)
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY JEFF ONG WEI SHENG!!!
I know I've wished you like a lot of times. But I still want to wish you. (: Thank you for making my day yesterday because I was feeling down. You know I know Jeff. Shh, keep it a low profile. ;) I miss you & I love you darling!(:

2009-04-30T17:58:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO INSYIRAH, IFTIRAH & HANISAH!(:
Alot right? Iftirah & Hanisah are my classmates. So yeah, happy birthday girls. Sorry couldn't stay behind for the mini party. Today is just so not right. I don't know why. Just wasn't in the mood. Firstly, my team only had 3 people. & I had to be the only girl. Which also means my darling members had to leave me alone to do the work. Thank you Ice & Kane! Then, the topic today is basically more to Physics. It brought back ALOT of memories. I actually waited for Shazwan to come online so I could ask him. Lol. Well, I just had a feeling that he would be online so yeah, he did! I miss you buddy! Luckily tomorrow is a public holiday. Long weekend, thank God! Random, bye!

HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY JEFF ONG WEI SHENG!!! I MISS YOU!!!

2009-04-29T19:59:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY NUR HAZIQAH BTE MOHD HELMI!!!

May all your wishes come true. You know I love you babygirl! Sorry Liwi, you'll have to share your sister. (: Enjoy your day today & have fun. We'll share secrets again sometime okay? Yes Liwi, we do have secrets. (: Go wonder what! I love you Eiiqah!!!

2009-04-27T18:42:00.002+08:00

I've nothing to do at the moment, so I choose to blog. School was usual except that it was extra cold today in class. I kept going to loo for at least 5 times, I think. -.-" I like Enterprise Skills cause it's so relax but the prsentations are hard. Today's presentations from all teams were funny especially Ice's team. Shall not go into details. Me & Farrah were on msn trying to figure out Evg's school pledge all of a sudden. Maybe it was Wenhao's idea, I don't know. We were totally clueless, well not for me cause I knew I got it right. Except that Farrah kept saying that I was wrong. I even went to the extend of asking all(most) who was online at that time. And they also forgot. See how forgetful we can get. I went so extreme that I texted Daryan during lunch just to ask him. He was so confident that he was right(well, he was & I got the same answer as him). It was really funny how most of us could actually forget it when we actually used to recite it everyday. Why did I ask Daryan of all people? Well, basically because he was an exco & he SHOULD know & memorise it. Haha, good eh? -.-" But then, Farrah wasn't happy still. So on our back, we saw an Evg student and we actually asked her. Yes, randomly went up to her and asked her. & Tadaaa!!! I was right!(: & Zee just can't stop calling me alien form outer space just because I like saying "I come in peace". I know, what the heck? Bye people!

2009-04-26T19:01:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY MUHAMMAD RIDZUAN!!! Hope all your wishes come true. Be a great leader so that people will look up to you. But no matter what, you''ll forever be MY attendance boy. EVER! I miss you kiddo!(:

2009-04-25T17:35:00.003+08:00

The weather outside is so hot! But still I went out just now to meet my darlings. Went to the "port" and waited for Elly & Liwi. They have this mini "tuition" session which honestly doesn't seem so. Lol. Liwi couldn't sit still. I was happy to be able to meet them though I met Liwi yesterday at RP. They did brighten up my super foul mood. I'll talk about that later. Elly had to leave early and so did Liwi. But me & Liwi waited for the rest of the 755 team to arrive because they have a match at Sembawang as I'm typing this post. I had planned to follow them but changed my mind because of the weather. Sorry Liwi. & All the best guys!(:

Me & Safi went to Mac to have our lunch. Something really funny happened. As you know, Mac is always packed with people. So apparently, there's two empty seats beside us. & There's this guy who approached us asking whether the seats were occupied. The guy looks & sounded SO much like Irsyad. We were shocked and couldn't stop laughing. Safi thought they weren't Malay so she talked in Malay about them. I guessed she was wrong to assume that way. I just couldn't stop kaughing tat her sillyness. So freaking funny! Haha.

My mood has been super foul since yesterday. I cried in class yesterday for God knows what reason. I thought no one noticed it but apparently some did. I just miss my friends so suddenly. Then, my handphone had to give me problems. There was no reception/network ALL OF A SUDDEN! & So I thought today the problem would go away but the problem persists. It's really pissing me off. I'm so going to Nokia shop tomorrow to verify the problem. I'm just not ready to change my phone just yet. Come on, I've 500 over text messages sia! My phone's really being a bitch! And I noticed that my friends from RP also faces a similar problem. Could be the network in RP! -.-"

2009-04-23T17:48:00.003+08:00

It's getting to the end of the week already. First week of school was okay. I thought I was going to have a hard time in class but apparently my class is great. Being in E37A was fun because they're a super friendly bunch of people. I couldn't sleep last night for God knows what reason. I couldn't stop singing the "Bye Bye" song from Mariah Carey all thanks to Z. & Now the class has a new "theme song". * I want nobody nobody but you!* Kane and Z kept dancing to the song. It was super funny and ridiculous. Haha. Anyway, it was a great experience in E37A. (: Cool!!! Tomorrow's maths. -.-"

2009-04-21T19:46:00.003+08:00

I think I've gotten the hang of poly life[YES SHAZWAN!] though I'm still a bit lost & still feels awkward. But I think my class, E37A is a fun bunch of people. Crazy & definitely very loud. There's this guy whose voice sounds SOOO much like Haleem. Seriously, I'm not kidding. I kept wondering yesterday as to whereI've heard him and tadaaa, I found my answer today. Lol. I suddenly went "Oh! Now I know where!" when the class was quiet. Yes, everyone looked at me as if I was an idiot. Haha. Still, 4 Commitment '08 is and forever the best. Damn! I'm so reluctant to go to school tomorrow! So freaking lazy to wake up!

Psst! Someone's being a bitch!

2009-04-18T11:19:00.011+08:00

I MISS 4 COMMITMENT '08 - SCORPIONS!
I MISS EVERYTHING THAT WE'VE DONE TOGETHER.
I MISS THE JOY & LAUGHTERS.
I MISS THE SORROWS & TEARS.

Nothing can ever change and separate the strong bond that we have. No other class can ever be the same as 4 Commitment '08. I love you & I miss you!

SCORPIONS WE WERE, SCORPIONS WE ARE,
& SCORPIONS WE WILL FOREVER BE!

2009-04-17T19:02:00.003+08:00

Hey people! Today was much better than the past two days. Went to class in the morning for around 90 minutes. My facilitator was funny & cool. No comment la. Rizza was his name. After which met up with Wenhao, Ayu & Farrah and we skipped the rest the orientation for the day. Wee! Wenhao went home I guess. But me & the girls went back to Evg. We planned to just go for a visit but ended up taking Ayu's testimonial. (: Then we had our lunch, Mee Soto. The three of us were practically craving for it & drooling. Haha. At the same time, the prefect's investiture was going on. But I didn't get a chance to watch Ridzuan go up on stage. After lunch, we walked around the school & met a few teachers. I saw Ridzuan & I gave him one super huge hug! Gosh, I miss that boy & I'm super proud of him. While waiting for Shazwan to come, we hang around with Fandi. Safi was already there by then. Shazwan came just to ask a packet of tissue from me. -.-" & He went missing for the next few hours. I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM! But then I guess he was too busy dealing with his NCDCC stuff. Yes, I waited for 6 bloody hours for him to be free. In the end, I left with Safi without even talking to him. I totally walked away from him & didn't even inform him that I was leaving. But one good thing that came out from today was, I felt so secure & at home in Evg, surprisingly. (: Oh byrd, that was one great song! So touching.(:

2009-04-16T20:58:00.005+08:00

I had my orientation yesterday & today as well as tomorrow. I got to say that I'm pretty disappointed with everything. The first day was boring. Had to play some lame games. I was lucky to be in the same group with Ayu, Wenhao & Izwan. Today seemed to be a bit better. My group went from 25 people to a pathetic 8. Then we had to combine with another group. They were okay because the guys were with their silly matrep jokes that I couldn't catch. Tomorrow there's this Jam & Hop which I don't think I'll be going. I just don't feel welcomed there for the past few days. But I saw this one guys who looks like my cousin plus someone from the past. Luckily just now my babes came to "fetch" me with Daryan! I was super happy! Anyway, thanks guys. Thanks Daryan & Jinsheng for yesterday. I just wish I can talk to Shazwan right now. I miss him! & I miss my Scorpions that I cried yesterday when chatting with Jinsheng & Daryan. I was already feeling down & RP had to play the Graduation song. Super sad sia. ): Nothing beats SCORPIONS! On a better note, CONGRATULATIONS RIDZUAN(again) & best of luck for tomorrow. I'm so sorry that I can't be there to watch you tomorrow. But just know that I'm with you in spirit!(:

2009-04-08T16:27:00.002+08:00

Just came back for TTSH. Went to visit Rahmah with the guys. The guys very noisy! They think the train belongs to them. Haha. But we went to surprise Fatin at work first before heading to the hospital. Me & Safi walked ahead of the guys because they were so slow. Ayu caught up with us at the hospital. Syafiq came a moment later. & The noise begins. Being Syafiq, the troublemaker, he had to talked so loud. Stubborn sia that guy. Haha. Poor thing sia Rahmah. Then everyone got hungry. As usual, when Liwi's hungry, he'll grumble non-stop. Had our meal & it was so not peaceful. Anuar was blabbering about his pet & his dreams with that Digimon thing was it? All sorts of stories, ridiculous stories! His life story. No one entertained him other than Ayu, who later also ignored him. Haha. Imagine him talking about a dinosaur which can actually talk & a pink gorilla? How irritating do you think it was? -.-" The guys had their so-called dessert. A lot of comments la. Then Safi, you know I know la eh. Trained back home with Safi. We left the guys there because they had nowhere to go & I was tired. He was kind of hot I have to admit. (: Anyway, get well soon Rahmah! We miss you!(:

2009-04-06T09:47:00.003+08:00

You can call others names or whatever, and I think they should thank you for that. Because ultimately they left an impact in your life. Why? By calling them names & talking about them means you remember them. So, that's something without you realising it. & By that, I think I should do the same thing to you cause your thinking is so stereotype & your attitude reeks. People have feelings even if you don't. That's the problem with you guys. You guys think you're the best in everything & everyone should respect & listen to you. But wait, think again. Not me, I won't bow down to the mercy of guys. Well, face it. If you want people to respect you, then learn to respect others. Stop thinking that whatever you is right cause it's not. Stop being so conservative, will you? You may have your own opinion, so does others. So what makes you think you're always right? Don't tell me that your pride & ego has blinded you. Please, wake up! You have your pride & ego, don't I have mine? If everyone in this world thinks the way you do, what would eventually happen to the world? Come on, get a life dude! Why do you guys always speak your mind without thinking of others? Don't you realise that what you said might have hurt their feelings. You can do that to your fellow guy friends that you're close with, I don't care. But sometimes, you have to think of others. Stop being so shallow, please. Please be more appreciative towards others. A simple "thank you" or "sorry" can change everthing. Provided that you really mean what you say. Because if you say it for the sake of saying it, it makes no difference. In fact, it may make things worse. & Stop making promises if they're empty promises or if you're not going to fulfil it. No one likes to be treated as toys or rubbish. Not even you, I presume? So, learn how to treasure & respect people. Even if you hate that person to the core, he/she is still a human being in this world. God created that person not for you to bring them down. So, grow up, be more mature & don't think that this world belongs to you. Everyone deserves to be in this world, not just you. I'm sorry if any of you guys thinks I'm refering to you.

2009-04-05T17:25:00.004+08:00

Thanks to all for wishing. Much appreciated. (: Just got back from my "mini" birthday celebration with family. I'm so sleepy. I slept quite late last night. Came back from Liwi's bbq pit/party at around 9 plus. Took a bath and off to bed. Then strike midnight, text messages came in all at once. Haha. After that, I can't sleep already. Still, thank you ah guys. Especially the unexpected people. Haha. I had fun at Liwi's bbq. Thanks for inviting me Abg Liwi. (: Hope you like my present!(: Just that I wasn't pleased with someone, very rude in my opinion & so unappreciative. Nevermind.

Celebration with the girls.(:

2009-04-03T18:33:00.004+08:00

Went back to school just now to collect my cert & testimonial. Finally! Waited for nearly ONE HOUR for Safi. I was so pissed off. Luckily Ridzuan came & accompanied me. Thanks, I miss you so much! See you again okay? (: So after nearly an hour of being stood up, Safi came. Betrayer! Haha. Collected the cert & testi and had a chat with Ms Maz. I miss seeing her cheerful face. (: was supposed to meet Elly but she was nowhere to be seen. & To my surprise, they- Safi, Elly & Fatin, gave me a surprise advance birthday celebration. Thanks so much babes. I was so shocked that I was speechless. That's the sweetest thing I 've ever had. I love you girls so much. I nearly cried cause it was so unexpected. (: Then, went back to school again because Fatin wanted to collect her cert. Troublesome! Haha, but something good happened. We met up with our two most favourite teachers - Ms Maz & Ms See. It was sweet seeing their shocked faces & their smiles. We had a good long catch up chat. (: After which we sat at the canteen & reminisce our times in Evergreen Secondary. Walked around the school before going back home. That school was my second home & it feels good to be back. I miss everything, especially my Scorpions. We actually went back to our former class & I nearly cried because that's where we shared our tears & joy. Happiness & sorrow. Saw the writings on the wall & immediately walked away before tears roll down my cheeks. Gosh, I MISS MY SCORPIONS A LOT!!!

2009-04-02T16:22:00.003+08:00

The weather makes my mood turn foul! It's so hot & stuffy! Still, today I woke up later than usual. Probably because I was too tired. Seriously, I've not been having sufficient sleep. & I had one dream that I would say weird. -.-" I dreamt that I went for my Orientation Camp which turned out to be a torture. Ya, pathetic I know. All because of Safi la. Haha! Tomorrow will be meeting my girls & hopefully Ridzuan & Liwi. ;) Random, bye!

People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is.

2009-03-30T15:20:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was girls' day out for me & my sisters. We went karaoke-ing at Partyworld! Finally, I can vent my frustations & boredness. Haha. I nearly lost my voice. After our session, I went to look for something. Damn difficult sia to find one small thing. Sis bought me my hair dye.[yeah!] She too bought one for herself. Went home just to find out we were to go out again in the evening to the hospital. My aunt was admitted to the hospital. So yeah, freshened myself up & took a little rest before going out again. Right now, the drilling from the tenant upstairs is driving me nuts!!!
IGNORE THE FACES & MY HAIR. SUPER BAD HAIR DAY!!!

2009-03-27T17:17:00.002+08:00

What a long day! Went shopping with Munirah around noon cause she wanted to buy her school stuff. Headed to Toa Payoh but apparently nothing there caught our eyes. Then off to Junction 8 and window shopped. Tried to find the suitable things. But too bad, nothing attracted us. So, went to AMK Hub. Thought of having our late lunch at Mac but couldn't decide what to eat. In the end, we continued to shop. Finally she got what she wanted! That girl also very fussy shopper. Haha. Yes, we went to three different places in order to get her stuff. My legs were already aching by then. Headed back to CWP to finally get the things I wanted. Thank God it's within my budget. So now, I have cash to spare for my own shopping! Wee!!! Now, I'm so exhausted, my legs are aching & my head's spinning.

Wan, don't worry okay? I'm here if you need a listening ear. (:

2009-03-26T09:42:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY MOHD NASZRUL BIN MOHD HELMI!

Let's see, this is my third time wishing you? Haha. Still, I wish the best of luck in everything that you do. And just remember that whatever happens, I'll always be behind you & supporting you. (: Thanks for everything all these years. You're the best Liwi! (:

On the other hand, Ridzuan, just do your best for the interview okay? I know that you'll do great so don't worry. Just think of me & you'll get through it easily. Haha. I'm so proud of you! & I love you too!(:

2009-03-19T10:54:00.002+08:00

DANNY GOKEY!!!
He's the contestant that I support in American Idol 8 this year. Well, for two reasons. One, because his vocals is so good. I got goosebumps when he sings & I can't stop smiling to myself. Secondly, because his name is DANNY. (: Haha. & I'm so sleepy right now. Believe me, I have dark rings around my eyes right now.

2009-03-18T17:29:00.003+08:00

I was curious about this survey that I found at Fatin's blog. So I did it.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Curiousity kills the cat? Not in this case. Most of it is so TRUE!!

2009-03-18T17:09:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. My computer's broken down again, which explains why I can't update. I've nothing to update anyway. But still, for a start I've got my own laptop. Yeah for me! Everyone seems so fascinated with thier laptops & I wonder why. So yesterday went to Safi's house again. This time with Sheera. It was fun but since I'm having my mood swings, it dampen my mood a little. But the part when Shazwan was making a fool of himself really cracked me up. Idiot! Just now, he did the same thing again. I tell you, he got nothing better to do. I can be crazy in no time hanging around crazy people. Especially Liwi or should I say ABG LIWI? Haha, our lame joke we made up since we were bored. This guy also something wrong in the head. Everytime Khaliq, irritating! Aku tau la korg blood brothers, jgn babit kn aku! Abg Liwi turning 17 soon. But let me tell you in advance, don't expect an Ipod from me. (: And I don't care, you have to & you will join Anugerah. Knowing me, I'll have my ways. (: Lastly, let me wish a belated birthday to Shaqeel, Diy & Razzy though I've wished them separately on their birthdays. It feels incomplete not wishing them here. There's so many birthdays in March!(: Bye & I won't be updating always.

2009-03-02T15:54:00.002+08:00

People, I've top up my prepaid already. Yes, I know finally! Anyway watched Pesta Perdana the other day & I practically smiled throughout the show. Why? Because he was there! Girlfriends know who & why. (; Yes, I screamed immediately & texted Elly. Sheera also texted me because of that. Anyway, the show was okay except for the hosting part. Personally to me, Habriyah & Hasif deserved their awards & I was glad. & Sorry guys, I can't make it to the chalet. Random, he's online & I have no courage to approach him. Darn it!

2009-02-24T15:22:00.002+08:00

I forget to mention that I saw Mrs Iqbal, my primary school DM. Haha, yes, the one & only "witch"! The same person who always had to find faults in me & my girlfriends back then. Memories! Anyway, I met up with Elly just now to pass her something. Gosh, I miss her! (: We hanged around for awhile before she went to meet her bf. Had a chat with Fatin earlier on also. Shazwan is mean! I tell you, he's irritating. Random, bye!

P/S: Ayu! I'm free all the way. But Elly has school, so maybe during her holidays & before Poly term starts!(:

P/S: Diy! Yes, have one outing soon. Anywhere as long as we can all chill out!(: Miss you babe!

2009-02-23T10:46:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. Actually I have nothing to update. Except that I really miss a few people right now. Oh wait! I think I saw Razzy the other day. & I saw Buluu too! I miss you buluu!(: I read Ridzuan's blog & it was very sweet. He misses me, I good! Lol.

[btw. mira.been reali a long long time since i saw u.i seriously hav lots of story to update you with.how are you?how have you been doing?sms me after topping up.haiz.we are rarely online together too.i miss someone calling me 'attendance boy' and complaining for being late.]

Ridz, I miss you too little rascal. Haha. I know, even I have a lot of things to tell you. I'm doing fine except for some minor problems. I'll tell you soon. No worries, I'll text you soon okay? Be good & aim to be the next exco! I want you to be one. (: But remember, you'll still & forever be MY late attendance boy!

Next, this guy up here is Muhd Shazwan. I'm going to be separated of him once school term starts. But I know I can count on him for a listening ear. Nevermind, he's so busy nowadays.

& Most importantly, I miss my girls so much! I wonder how they're doing. Elly, I hope you're coping well with school. Update me on the drama okay? Fatin, all the best with work! Haha. Safi, I hope you're doing fine too! I miss you guys a lot!!! We have to meet up before school term starts!

& Also, I miss my primary school buddies. Diyanah, Habibah, Fareezah, Amirah, Nizam & the rest!

2009-02-20T10:15:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO GO TO MDIS OPEN HOUSE TOMORROW!!! Anyone want to follow???
Anyway, I've been chatting with Shazwan for the past few days(FINALLY!). Seems like he has more stories than me. Lol. So, we caught up with each other's lifes. & I miss him.(: Random, bye!

2009-02-14T11:03:00.005+08:00

I feel really down. Last night went to the wedding reception of a relative because we couldn't make it today. I thought I was stronger than this. But apparently I was deluding myself. Obviously he's there cause it's his brother's wedding. I thought I could avoid him like before. But his girlfriend's family was there too. That was an unpleasant sight. Really, it was weird. And the most shocking thing that I discovered is that my dad knows her dad. How much of a coincidence. How much smaller can the world get? I wasn't myself last night. I kept to myself mostly because of that and partly because of my PMS mode. It was so hard for me to not look at the surrounding. If only my babygirls were awake, at least they could cheer me up. It hurts a lot inside and I have no answers for that. No, not because I still have feelings for him because I'm so over him. Probably because he WAS my past. I cried on the way back home in the car. And I cried myself to sleep. Instantly the memories I had with him came flooding into my mind. I've not felt this heartache ever since he left. I honestly have no answers. Maybe soon enough I may be attending his wedding instead. Only time will tell. I never knew that this could make me weak and I thought I could handle it. I was listening to my MP3 and one song really describes what I'm going through. I've never come across a more meaningful song that describes exactly my feelings. Babes, I really feel down!

Semenjak kau kenali dia
Pandanganmu mula beralih arah
Aku di sebelah bagai tak nampak
Seolah kasihku... sudah kau campak dari hatimu

Tak mampu untukku bersuara
Tak mampu bersemuka dengannya
Walau dihati marah membara
Kerna ku sedar
Cinta itu tak boleh dipaksa

Kiranya apa yang terucap selamanya ini
Hanya sekadar madah penyeri suasana
Oh amat pedih perasan kini bila
Dipermainkan sewenang-wenang
Olehmu yang kuanggap kekasih

Dalam keadaan yang tertekan
Masih mampu ku bertahan
Lainlah engkau waktu ini
Bersamanya menyemai janji
Terpaksalah kulupakan walau hati masih sayang
Kerna engkau kini jadi milik orang

Tak perlu ku ucap bahagia
Padamu kini bersamanya
Kerna hati ini masih marah lagi
Atas perbuatan yang telah mengguris perasaan

2009-02-12T12:27:00.003+08:00

Yesterday went to meet my girls excluding Fatin. I miss them SO much! As usual, me & Safi were early. We went crazy when we saw each other. Lol. We sat at the bus stop & chat about old times. That Ellynur as usual was late. It was weird seeing her with black hair & in school uniform. Like what Safi said, I'm becoming more blur these days. What do you expect? After months of doing nothing, my brain has slowed down. Haha. As we were talking, "Snowball" suddenly came into the picture. I mean, she was really in front of us. I was telling Elly about my dream & suddenly she apeeared out of nowhere. I immediately stopped & just burst into laughters. I laughed till I teared up. Haha. You know, this 'Snowball' was our junior at school & Nazrul(Shogun) was the one who gave her this name during night study last year. I still remember what he said. "Eh, sihat btl bdk ni. Mcm snowball." As I was the only one who was paying attention to what he said, that made me the only person to laugh & the rest thought Iwas crazy. That was expected. -.-" Alah wii, bdk catherine tu la. Hahaha. & Sorry to my Scorpions, I'm unable to attend the chalet. I hope you guys enjoy. I miss you guys!

2009-02-09T09:39:00.003+08:00

It's still kind of early in the morning but this is the time I'm stuck in front of my computer. So yesterday went to a wedding reception at Sengkang. My two girls were there, I mean I finally got to meet them. It's been so long since I last saw them. They're growing up fast(if you know what I mean.) Nadra was a little bit moody but Nasha was adorable. She even wanted to follow me home. But that's not the point. The girls' uncle was there too(that 'T' guy). It was really awkward. We all sat at the same table & I was kind of facing him. I tell you I lost my appetite to eat. I really avoided looking at him in the eye. Oh, he's getting fatter. Sorry, no offence. I guess it will be hard for me to avoid him in days to come. Maybe next week I've to see him again because his brother is getting married. & Soon, his sister will be having a third baby. Yes, Nadra & Nasha will be having a baby sister! So, another "Charlie's Angels" just like my parents. It runs in the blood? Yeah, goodluck mira. You'll need lots of it.

2009-02-05T11:32:00.003+08:00

BINGO! I didn't expect to get it right, but I did! Yeah! You guys wondering what I'm talking about? Nevermind, you don't need to know. (: Maybe going out later, maybe not. I have a boring life, I know. Which is also the reason why I don't update often. My daily routine is the same, well, DAILY! So yeah, I miss my girls a lot! Oh right! I had a dream last night about school, as in my former secondary school. I dreamt that my friends(class) & I went back to there to visit but we were treated very coldly by the teachers. We were practically give the cold shoulder by them. I could clearly see Mr James Ng & Mr Taufik's faces. Scary, I tell you! Maybe it goes to show that I really miss school. I know, I've said a hell lot of times.
& I miss you, you've changed. It's so hard to even chat with you, needless to say talk and meet. Sometimes I feel that you're very distant from me, very far. I hate it when I have negative thoughts about you. But I can't help it, because you're not helping!

2009-02-02T09:38:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY SITI MUNIRAH BTE HAMID HUSSAIN! Hope you have a wonderful day ahead with your loved ones.(; You know I love you bestfriend! Sadly, we'll be going separate ways fo poly. But hey, that won't jeopardize our nearly 11 years of friendship, I hope. Thanks for always being there for me. (:

Okay, two nights ago I had this dream involving Jimmy's brother. Funny how he'd appear in my dream so suddenly. Lol. I've been having a bad cold for the past week & it's so irritating! I've nothing to update actually. Just that, Liwi! Don't forget to tell me when you know the results!!! & When will I get my posting letter from RP? Anyone knows??? Okay done, I want to play Pet Society at Facebook. Bye!

2009-01-30T17:11:00.002+08:00

Okay, so apparently I got my 5th choice for JAE. New Media at Republic Poly. I'm disappointed that I didn't get into SP with buddy. Damn, I'm so going to miss him. On the other hand, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Liwi to be admitted into a poly. So, New Media with Izwan & Wen Hao(maybe). I heard lots of EVGians going to RP. Going to be separated from Scorpions, officially, soon. All the best people! I'll miss you.

2009-01-28T11:54:00.002+08:00

ALL THE BEST ELLYNUR!
Apparently Liwi shocked me with his decision. But like I said, I'll support him all the way. You know I know, public don't know eh wii. (; I've been having trouble gooing to sleep this past few days. I kind of "walked down my memory lane" since the Jurong Point trip. Fine, whatever. I'm in the midst of chatting with Razzy & Shazwan. Both are driving me nuts! & I'm not sure about the chalet. I'll keep Syafiq updated. Bye! I miss Shazwan buddy!

2009-01-25T19:11:00.002+08:00

Went out with the girls on Friday. Watched a movie. Met up with Elly & Safi and we headed to Jurong Point. That place really brought back A LOT of memories. Well, that was once upon a time. Waited for Fatin to finish her training, had lunch & roamed around the newly extended Jurong Point. The movie was awesome, very touching. Well, not to the extend of crying. Apparently the two Fatin(s) were tearing up at the end of the movie. Safi & I were looking at each other & laughed. Haha, emotional people! But seriously, it was a great movie. Go watch! Okay, on the back there was a commotion! There's this guy who nearly got his head stuck in between the train doors, literally. He hit his head on the door because he was so tall. The girls were laughing but I tried to maintain myself cause the train was packed & people were looking. Yesterday saw Sheera working. Damn busy I tell you. Haha. Then just now saw Nazrul(shogun) & Fahmi. I was inside the car & Nazrul saw me. He smiled & waved & alerted Fahmi. Fahmi very cute I tell you. Wave at me like so long never see me. Well, kind of true. & I have no idea why I sound like Liwi with the "I TELL YOU" phrase. Haha. & I forgot to say this previously, the day when we followed Liwi to Rp, I saw a cat on our back home. Typically me, I'd overreacted & hid behind Irsyad & Liwi. Guess what they said? They thought I saw a ZOMBIE because they were talking about this zombie game. Pathetic right? I know! Last words, thanks Safi for the songs & pictures(he's so hot!) ! & Good luck Fatin!

2009-01-22T11:22:00.002+08:00

I'M SICK! BOOOOO!
I feel so horrible & weak. Tsk, I hate it! So, I've been having bizarre dream for the past two/three days. & I really mean BIZARRE! I tell you, no link! About two days ago, I had this one serious nightmare. Then last night I dreamt something funny yet not logical.(Shazwan related but not about him) I bet you he'll bug me to tell him if knows it. So, I hope he's not reading. They-Shazwan, Azizul & Zul, have been reading & tagging Safi's & Liwi's blog. High chance I'm their next target? Maybe, but the good thing is I've no tagboard! Take that! Babes, bile nk klua? Redundant post, I know. -.-"

2009-01-20T17:37:00.003+08:00

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
MIRA IS STARSTRUCK & SPEECHLESS! I'M HAVING GOOSEBUMPS & I'M BLUSHING! (:

Okay, so just now accompanied Liwi for his interview at RP. Irsyad & Nazrin were also there. See, Liwi needs three people to accompany him. (: So, waited for him till he's done with his interview. Oh, he was kind of different in a way. With his new haircut(so sec 2) & his pretty formal dressing. Haha. Member bingit rambot dh 'tkde'. (; While waiting, I read my novel while the other two guys played their psp or maybe watching something else. That I don't know & I don't want to know. Afterwhich, the guys went to Woodlands Mart(I think) to play lan(is it the correct spelling?) or whatever game it was. I went home cause I need to rush to somewhere else. & Now, I'm starstruck & smiling to myself. Gosh, that's the first time in my life I did something that I didn't expect myself to do. Get it, no? Nevermind, for me to know for you to find out. :D Going to be busy the next few days due to some problems. Anyway, I miss my girls & my boys(if you know what I mean) Seriously, I'm going out of head right now. I'm out! Hoping to catch him on televison if not real life. -.-"

2009-01-16T16:44:00.005+08:00

I'm totally bored right now. Thank God Liwi called me earlier. He wanted his result slips. Kate tk nk. -.-" At least I got to step out of the house even for a few minutes. Pathetic, I know. Met him in front of the school. The gate to be precise. I felt like I was visiting an inmate cause he was inside the school & I was outside. We talked through the gate. Buluu, Byrd & Khutu were there. They're there for this NCC camp. & Liwi, all the best for the interview! I hope you'll into the course(whatever it is). Moving on, this next section is meant for this random guy so you don't really have to read it. I've said this before & I'm saying it again whether you readers out there likes it or not. Somebody's really pissing me off. Since Tuesday, he's been like a jerk! Sorry if you feel offended(though I know you're not reading). But then again, how can someone like you feel offended when you're heartless to begin with? Would it hurt you to spare a thought for other people's feelings other than yours just once? Well, apparently people do have their pride & feelings, not just you. And would it kill you to be a LITTLE more sensitive towards others? I guess these favours are too hard for you to fulfil since you never really DID TRY & it will probably contradict/clash with your personality. Maybe that's why you chose to remain ignorant of everything. Why is it so hard for you to care for others? Why is it so hard for me to even "let you go"? Oh yes, I've said that I'd try to let you go. But when reality sets in, it's hard cause memories of you tend to be everywhere. Nevertheless, I'll try & I will succeed(in letting go of the feelings)!

2009-01-15T12:07:00.003+08:00

I've submitted my JAE last night. So there's no turning back. I hope I've made the right choices. I hope I get the course of my choice. Well, let's just wait for the results shall we? I don't see a need to list down my choices in public. Still, I wish everyone all the best! (again) I hope I'll get into the same school as Shazwan(at least) because it's impossible to be in the same course. Duh! & I wish Liwi will get into poly so at least if not Shazwan, I have Liwi. (: I'll pray for you, bestie! I really hope you'll get into a poly.

HAPPY 17tH BIRTHDAY FATIN RAIHANAH BTE BUJANG! May all your wishes come true & I hope you have a wonderful day ahead. (:
& To my girls, let's go out one day & let our hair down! Please!(:

2009-01-14T14:33:00.016+08:00

This entire post is dedicated for 4 Commitment 2008, SCORPIONS. (:

4 COMMITMENT 2008!

Remember me telling that I wrote something for the class during Graduation? Here's the little something. Edited though.

Dearest Scorpions,

First & foremost, I would like to thank you guys for being the most wonderful bunch of people. We've been together for nearly two years now (though I've known some longer). But as the years & days pass by, we've grown much stronger & united. We've understood each other's emotions & moods. Nothing can compare our unity. For the past two years, we've had countless amount of fun, joy & laughter. Amidst all that, we also had our conflicts. But still, with the support of one another, we managed to overcome everything together. 4 Commitment has proven to the best class ever in my life & I’m sure yours too.

Although there's a handful bunch of people who simply hates our guts, we held on to our class spirit. The best example was the Charity Bazaar last year when we had a conflict with another class. The what-meant-to-be a farewell party for our friend, Danial, proved that we all needed each other. The tears shed by almost everyone really touched me. One for all, all for one.

I hope even after our Graduation, we'll still be together as SCORPIONS. I'll miss all the fun, inside jokes and everything. I hope there won't be a barrier blocking us from being together. All the best for the O's & we'll succeed together as SCORPIONS. The tears shed by our teachers during Graduation really moved me. It was the first time I saw them cried in front of the whole cohort/school. Thus, it proved that we made an impact in their lives as much they left a huge impact in ours.

I’m really going to miss every single one of my classmates. I’ve never regretted knowing you guys. I’m proud to be a part of Scorpions. Thank you for all the memories – good or bad, I’ll cherish it.The memories will forever be etched in my mind. I wish everyone all the best in your future endeavours. Never give up, stay true to Scorpions motto & vision – OMIT TO COMMIT, CONCEDE TO DEFEAT & COMMITMENT BEARS THE FRUIT OF RAPTURE. I personally believe that every single one of Scorpions will & definitely do well. I love my dearest SCORPIONS, now & forever! I hope this will not be our first goodbye.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

SCORPIONS♥

With Love,
`MIRA

Thank you Izwan,once again, for the video. (:

2009-01-13T17:05:00.002+08:00

Results out yesterday. I'm pretty much disappointed especially art. But than, what's done is done. Congratulations to those who made it to poly & to those who didn't make the cut, remember that this is never the end. This doesn't determine your future. Couldn't sleep the whole night, thanks to Buluu. Called me when I was trying to sleep. Talked to him for a while before going to sleep. Don't ask me why he called me. I was shocked myself. Went out with Munirah just now. I just needed to calm myself down. She had a new haircut! Crazy girl I tell you. Walked around CWP then headed off to my port, 846. Surprisingly saw Irsyad. Liwi & Nazrin came later. I tell you, Nazrin has lost his mind! Officially! I didn't plan to meet them, just a coincidence. We talked about the results & the courses. Bob, Shaq & Wan Farhan came later. & I went off with Munirah. I'm still deciding the poly courses now.

2009-01-09T11:11:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to TP with the girls. I miss hanging out together. We took 969 there & we crapped all the way in the bus. JADA! Haha. Reached there & it seriously brought back a lot of memories. At first we were lost & I was so pissed off because I was in my PMS mode. In the end we had fun. We toured around the design school & met Jinsheng lookalike. Seriously the same. From the way he talk to the way look, exactly like Jinsheng. Me & Fatin were practically the ones listening to this guy & I think he's interested in Fatin. Lol. So we texted him & typically Jinsheng, he was crazy. -.-'' I miss him! Haha. Then we went to business school where Elly was so engrossed with her law thingy & me with media. Met the guys halfway & we went into the lecture room for some show. It was funny. Then got SEPARATED from the guys. & Whatever. I wasn't in the mood for it anyway. Elly ate at the canteen & we all just stared at her. We saw Alyph Sleeq. But I wasn't intersted in him, so yeah. If it was you-know-who, I would be the first person to grab him. (; Trained back to Woodlands & I was totally shagged. Met Junhao, my primary school friend. Caught up with each other's lifes since we've not met for like 4 years? So yeah, I miss him.(: Bought Fatin's hair dye & my MacD cause I was so hungry! Walked back home & heard from my sister that Taufik was at NYP. So, whatever. It's done & over with. Why do girls always have to listen & follow guys? Why can't they for once follow us?

2009-01-08T08:53:00.003+08:00

Yesterday went to Republic Poly for its open house. Went with Liwi, Nazrin & Khaliq. Crazy guys. So apparently I was the only girl cause Elly only came later. We were laughing. Saw quite a number of people. Met Diy, Amirah & Fareezah there. Today going to Temasek Poly's open house with the girls. Sadly, the guys won't be following cause they want to go to NYP.
& DAMN! THE RESULTS WILL BE OUT ON 12 JANUARY 2009! IT'S CONFIRMED!

2009-01-07T09:24:00.002+08:00

Good morning! In two hours time, I'll be meeting the guys to go to Republic Poly's open house. & I'm the only girl since Ayu & Elly will be meeting us there. Good luck mira! Had my interview with elly on Monday. Full of laughters! Then met safi & rahmah & the guys. Miscommunication. Me & safi went to 846. Chilled out & relived the memories there. It was fun. I miss safi!(: Anyway, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO SYAFIQ & HAMZAH!!! I'm turning 17 this year??? Gosh! That's fast, I've yet to enjoy my sweet sixteen life. -.-" Got to go. Update more later!

2009-01-02T17:03:00.003+08:00

Since I'm totally bored & restless now, I guess I'll just have a super random post. Slacked at home the whole entire day. & By slack I mean, I was clueless at home not knowing what to do. -.-" Today marks the first day of the new term for students. & What did I found out? My FORMER SCHOOL now has a 45 mintues break. Yeah I know, what the heck? But then they have to sacrifice cause lesson ends at 2.30 everyday! Well, like they say - NO PAIN, NO GAIN. Still, I miss the feeling of dreading to go to school on the first day. I really miss school. I know I've said this umpteen times, but hey I really do miss school. & Rumours have been going around that our O level results will be out on 9th of January. Which means to say exactly 7 days from now. How fast time flies, isn't it? But still, it's RUMOURS! We'll wait for them to announce it officially. God, I just hope I can make it to poly(cause jc is so not my choice) & I'll be content.

2008-12-31T12:36:00.003+08:00

Yes! I've finally changed my display song! Wee! Sorry for the not-so-good quality. I'll search for better ones when I have the time. Went to library with mummy cause she had to meet her friend. Eh, typical Singaporeans to wait outside the library even before it opens. It's like there's some kind of sale or some bigshot coming down. -.-'' Tsk tsk! & On the way back, saw Daryan on his way to work. It was around 10.20 & his shift starts at 11am. He's late! Haha. Random!
GOODBYE 2008 & HELLO 2009!

2008-12-30T12:53:00.003+08:00

Didicazli Feat Sleeq - Impianku

I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it on air.(:

2008-12-30T10:49:00.004+08:00

Since I predict tomorrow's going to be a busy day, I'll have my review today. (: So, tomorrow's marks the end of another year. We'll be welcoming 2009 in less than 48 hours? Apparently, I failed my Maths, so it's just an estimation.

2008 has been a really hectic year for me. It was a bumpy ride. There were too much of misunderstandings & conflicts going on around me. However, there were also a lot of happy memories that I really cherish. I understood myself better in this year. Well, I realised that things or rather people shouldn't be taken for granted. In fact, 2008 really tested everyone on the meaning of friendship. The class went through a major clash for whatever reasons. But we managed to overcome it. Though I can't deny the fact that a lot of things happened so suddenly and ended up with disappointments. The year also brought us closer together. Cause it was the first time that I saw almost everyone cried. Well, during Graduation Day to be exact. It really touched me seeing our two teachers - Ms Maz & Ms See, cried during their speech. For it was the first time I saw that happening. In fact, they were the only two teachers who cried. That shows how much we mean to them as much as they mean to us. The little cards were the sweetest things that a teacher can ever do for his/her students. Honestly, I've never felt appreciated for my efforts but I realised that I wrong. It really taught me a valuable lesson. Still, we were & will forever be the most united class in Evergreen's history. (: I'm proud to be part of Scorpions clan.

And I'm glad I knew Ridzuan!(; How did I get to know this boy in the first place? Maybe because he was known as the "attendace boy" then. I'm glad I can share with him some of my problems because basically we were in the same boat. Right Ridz?

A year that was packed with studies, lessons & more studies. It's been nearly 2 months since I sat for my O levels but it seems just like yesterday that I entered my Secondary 4 life. 2008 went pass really quickly, if you were to ask me. Speaking of which, I'm so not ready for the results. This year, I realised that I was really lacking behind in my studies. To be exact in Maths & Physics. & I'm so proud of myself that I finally managed to pass my freaking Physics prelims! I humbly thank Shazwan for his endless efforts & motivations to help me. I hope I won't disappoint him with my results. *fingers crossed* School events were okay for the first half of the year when the 6th batch exco were still in charge. After which... no comments.

Seriously, 2008 holds quite a number of pleasant and unpleasant memories. I'll make these memories as well as experiences as a learning point of my life. I understood the meaning of life better in 2008. I'll cherish every single memory. My life really took a drastic turn in these 12 months though I won't deny the fact that 2007 was more special personally. I hope 2009 will be a better year for me and for everyone. I've yet to make my new year's resolution. Because all these years, my resolution never made it anywhere. -.-'' &To those who will be starting a new term in school, HAPPY SCHOOLING! Finally it's my turn to gloat & it fells good to be gloating. XD

I've bought my Taufik's album! -.-"

2008-12-27T17:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY TO HERIZWAN HAZIQ BIN MANSOR!(: May all your wishes come true. All the best for your studies, don't fool around anymore! I miss you bro!

Okay, so that was a little shoutout to my friend-cum-adek angkat. I miss him a lot! Now, in a matter of days the year's coming to an end. This year has really been hectic for me. I'll do a review on 2008 on New Year's eve. As always. So, till then! I miss Jeff!!! -.-"

Elly! Paiseh ah nk add die!